| 1 |
Putting your foot into a hole when stopping. |
| 2 |
Putting your foot down on something slippery when stopping. |
| 3 |
Locking the front wheel during overenthusiastic braking. |
| 4 |
Missing the driveway and sliding on the grass. |
| 5 |
Not putting the kickstand down when getting off. |
| 6 |
Make a turn from stop in gravel or sand at high throttle. |
| 7 |
Not putting a board ('foot')under the kickstand on asphalt on a
hot day. |
| 8 |
Letting overenthusiastic people sit on your bike who have never
been on a bike. |
| 9 |
Forgetting the bike's in gear when you jump on the kickstarter. |
| 10 |
Revving the engine, releasing clutch, and putting feet on pegs
when the light turns green, but the bike's in neutral. |
| 11 |
Not putting your foot down when stopping at red light. |
| 12 |
Losing balance when putting it on the centerstand. |
| 13 |
Take an hour ride in 30 degree weather with no gloves, stop at a
stop sign and pop the clutch when you start because you've lost feeling in your hands. |
| 14 |
Putting your foot down at a toll booth on the thick layer of
grease that builds up when cars stop. |
| 15 |
Using too much power when you pull out of a greasy toll booth. |
| 16 |
Ignoring the sand that builds up in the spring at the side of the
road (in places where roads are sanded and salted in winter.) |
| 17 |
Kicking your kickstand in a cool fashion and having it bounce back
up instead of staying down. |
| 18 |
Getting off your bike while it is running and forgetting that is
in gear. |
| 19 |
Trying to kickstart your first bike over and over because you
didn't realize that it was really out of fuel, and getting the goofy metal ring on the
side of your boot caught in the kickstarter, causing you (and the bike) to go over on the
right side. |
| 20 |
Starting your brand-new electric-start trail-bike, riding around
an ornamental shrub on full left lock, throwing it to the right and accelerating to
wheelie over the curb onto the street and _then_ discovering that you hadn't unlocked the
steering-lock... |
| 21 |
On same bike, getting the dual-range lever caught inside your
jeans as you come to a stop... |
| 22 |
Having your boot/jeans catch the gear-lever and putting your
running bike into first gear whilst reaching for the side-stand (which is why I now
automatically pull in the clutch whenever deploying or retracting the stand.) |
| 23 |
Having "green" racing linings which have much higher
coefficient of friction on the slight rust that forms on the polished drum when you've not
ridden for a few hours, and lose the front-end holding the brakes on against the throttle
to wear off the rust. |
| 24 |
Having a three-cylinder two-stroke that's so smooth you think
you're in second when you're actually in first, so you spin out when the undercarriage
touches down in a tight corner passing a car and you think, "just a bit more throttle
will help here..." |
| 25 |
Revving bike in impressive squidly fashion at red light, thinking
it's in neutral; dropping clutch and standing in place while bike wheelies and backflips
into intersection. |
| 26 |
Having your fat-ass brother (as a pillion) lean waaay over to the
side to look at something on the ground while at a stop sign. |
| 27 |
Wife gets foot caught on saddlebag while getting on before you. |
| 28 |
Rebuild carbs and treat bike like it still needs full gas away
from a stop. |
| 29 |
Bald tires, and a smatter of rain. |
| 30 |
Look at the sand at the edge of the exit ramp rather than through
the turn. |
| 31 |
Neither you nor your dad watching while he's backing his car up to
the woodpile to unload wood. |
| 32 |
Not putting the pin that holds the center stand all the way in and
then trying to put the bike on the center stand. |
| 33 |
Trying to hold the bike upright before deploying the center stand
only to find your knees are too weak from riding. |
| 34 |
Park behind friend's mom's minivan figuring "If anybody goes
anywhere, they'll surely see it. 'specially since there'll be 5 of them getting into the
van. |
| 35 |
After getting fuel at gas station and holding the bike level with
your legs in order to fill it completely, jumping off forgetting that your legs were
holding it upright not the kickstand. |
| 36 |
Entering a DR ("decreasing radius") turn too fast. This
is especially dangerous when making a right turn where if you attempt to straighten up and
brake, you'll plow into oncoming traffic. |
| 37 |
Trying to countersteer (or wheelie) your shaft driven bike? [Obviously
the person who posted this doesn't have a clue.] |
| 38 |
Getting your boot/ shoelace caught on the gearshift. (I wear
laceless boots now.) |
| 39 |
Attempting to kick start a cantankerous '84 CR500, whilst standing
on a picnic table bench, and she *kicks* back! |
| 40 |
Getting pissed off for dropping it in the first place, yanking it
vigorously off the ground, only to have it drop to the _other_ side. |
| 41 |
Pulling out the swingarm stand, and forgetting to put the
sidestand down first. |
| 42 |
Backing down an inclined driveway, turning to either side with a
full tank of gas. |
| 43 |
Taking the bike off the centerstand and forgetting the sidestand. |
| 44 |
Riding on wet grass with street tires (Almost as bad as ice!!) |
| 45 |
Riding on wet asphalt with dirt tires (Almost as bad as ice!!) |
| 46 |
*Thinking* the kick stand was down when it wasn't. |
| 47 |
Kick stand slowly burying itself in hot asphalt. |
| 48 |
Kick stand slowly burying itself in soft ground. |
| 49 |
Backing up perpendicular to a steeply sloped driveway and
attempting to put your foot down on the downhill side while on a large bike with a high
seat. (By the time your foot reaches the ground the bike is so far off center balance you
won't be able to hold it up.) |
| 50 |
Backing your bike down a plank, by yourself, from the bed of a
pickup truck. Works great as long as you remember that once you start moving, stopping for
any correction is out of the question. Get two people to stand on each side of you and the
bike. |
| 51 |
Losing your balance when coming to a stop because of fatigue from
a long trip. The wind and the buzz of the bike induces an unexpected case of vertigo. Stop
often and rest. |
| 52 |
Riding beyond your limits while trying to keep up with someone who
is probably riding beyond their own. Always a temptation. The best riders/racers
understand and use discipline when riding. |
| 53 |
Not paying attention. Always strive to anticipate what could
possibly go wrong and be planning what you're going to do when it happens, eventually it
will - and you'll be ready, instead of surprised when you're much more likely to do
something stupid and reactionary. |
| 54 |
Assuming that all wet roads are created equal. They are much more
slippery when it first starts to rain - until the oil and dirt are washed away. |
| 55 |
Assuming that the condition of a blind corner is the same as it
was the last time you rode it. Instead you find sticks, road kill, oil, rain wash, stones,
pot holes, garbage, etc. |
| 56 |
Not understanding how to get set-up for a corner when pushing the
limits. In most cases the bike could have made the corner but the rider decided it
couldn't and while in a panic attempted to correct the situation with the brake. WRONG!
MSF course will discuss this at length. |
| 57 |
Riding without all of the protective equipment because I forgot to
bring it and after all it was just this one time. Turned out to be the wrong time! I
forgot my MX boots and fell on a steeply banked corner and the foot peg attempted to drill
into the back of my right calf. On crutches for 3 weeks with a deep bruise. |
| 58 |
Using a little too much power turning the first corner after
you've put on new tyres (with that nice slippery release compound on them). |
| 59 |
Being too short for the bike you're riding, and coming to a stop
sign. |
| 60 |
Your rider hops on before you are ready. |
| 61 |
Pushing your bike into the garage and letting it get leaned just a
little away from you, pulling you on top of it to the ground. |
| 62 |
Pulling off both fork caps while the bike is on its centerstand. |
| 64 |
Park pointing downhill, don't leave it in gear. |
| 65 |
Park with sidestand facing up hill, sidestand is too long. |
| 66 |
Allow friend to ride bike that has either no riding experience, or
only tiny dirtbike riding experience (they will wheelie out of control, fly straight at
the nearest object, or drop it attempting to stop suddenly.) |
| 67 |
Pulling into Dairy Queen and slipping on a spilt chocolate malt. |
| 68 |
Sitting on your bike on an inclined driveway talking to a very
pretty girl, forgetting where in the hell your mind is and then noticing that it's already
too close to the ground to stop. |
| 69 |
Change rear-end oil on a shaft drive bike, spill 90w on tire,
don't clean it up and then make a really sharp turn out of the driveway. *Splat* |
| 70 |
Parking your bike so that it stands upright with the kickstand
down and then having a slow leak in the rear tire which causes the kickstand to push the
bike over. |
| 71 |
Running into a bus after a 120mph+ high speed chase where there is
helicopter pursuit and you are being taped by 5 local news stations. |
| 72 |
Spending 3 hours washing and waxing your bike and then stepping
back to admire it with some buddies and then watch it fall right off its side stand while
it was warming up. |
| 73 |
Pushing it over. |
| 74 |
Covering it with a windsail (aka canvas cover) and letting the
wind push it over. |
| 75 |
Unbolting too many components from the back so that the bike falls
off the jack. |
| 76 |
Having an internally rusted CX500 centre stand come apart whilst
putting the bike onto it. |
| 77 |
Discovering when you stop and try to put your foot down that the
kickstart lever is up your pantleg. |
| 78 |
Letting your wife drive the bike and having her stall it on an
inclined driveway while in a 45 degree angle to the incline. |
| 79 |
Entering a banked freeway onramp with a stoplight at the end, and
realizing a little too late that the downside is just a _little_ steeper than you thought. |
| 80 |
Whacking the throttle open on the highway when you think there's
no cop around then slowing to normal speed again only to realize that a trooper has been
trying to catch up with you for two miles and he's pissed so he decides to run you off the
road because he thinks you were trying to run away from him, even though you explain to
him that if you were trying to run that he wouldn't have caught you then getting out of
any ticjet because *@!!$#, uh I nean cop, felt bad even though he never said "I'm
sorry" . . . .but I'm not bitter. |
| 81 |
While pushing your bike in an attempt to start it by compression,
jumping on side-saddle with excessive vigor. |
| 82 |
Successfully compression starting your bike while running along
side, only to find out that you'd held a BIT too much throttle! |
| 83 |
Deploying the centre-stand without noticing that the ground falls
away on the other side. |
| 84 |
Taking the wife on a ride on your brand new, first bike in 20+
years and making a slow, tight, turn on gravel. |
| 85 |
Riding in stilettos and getting stuck on the footrest. |
| 86 |
Swinging your legs too enthusiastically over the bike with tight
trousers on and kicking it over. |
| 87 |
Dismounting while trying not to wet yourself (cold weather..tuh!) |
| 88 |
Riding short distances side-saddle fashion. |
| 89 |
Pulling off with a blood alcohol level exceeding the stated limit. |
| 90 |
Reaching down to pick up your gloves/keys/glasses. |
| 91 |
Paying too much attention to the tiltometer on your valkarie. |
| 92 |
Dropping your dirtbike on the side of a steep hill covered in pine
humus, then while getting it righted go over the down side because it's too far of an
angle to get a foot down. |
| 93 |
Trying to ride away on the side of a steep hill covered in pine
humus which is slipperier than sand. |
| 94 |
Bopping down the freshly-oiled farm lane to see the neighbor kid
with my brother on the back, cautiously toeing the rear brake, feeling the rear wheel
slide as we headed straight for the barn, grabbing a panicky handful of front brake, doing
a slow highside despite dabbing mightily, sliding right up to the barn door prone on the
well-oiled bike with my brother on top of the pile, and hearing the neighbor say
"Didn't that thing used to be orange?" |
| 95 |
kill the bike while leaned over trying to make a slow, sharp turn
in a parking lot. |
| 96 |
Forgetting to remove the disc lock and taking off from the curb
with haste...Tends to break the front caliper, too. |
| 97 |
Falling asleep. |
| 98 |
Getting help from a neighbor in pushing your 750 up a steep ramp
into a moving truck. Though he might assure you that he used to ride a motorcycle, it
turns out it was a 125 in Bombay. He gets 2/3 of the way up the ramp, looks panicked, and
his knees buckle. Crunch. |
| 99 |
Looking at the pretty curb to your left on a right-hand bank. |
| 100 |
Trying to get a wasp or bee out of your jacket while sitting on
the bike. |
| 101 |
Trying to start out in a quick turn (leaning in anticipation of
giving it throttle) and stalling it out because the engine hasn't warmed yet - it's a
nice, slow drop... |
| 102 |
Forgetting to put in oil after an oil change. Starting 'er up, and
wondering why the low oil pressure dummy light doesn't turn off. |
| 103 |
After a brake job, forgetting to pump the lever/pedal a few times,
and taking off, wondering why there's no brakes as you're coming up on the intersection. |
| 104 |
Having a mechanical gate close on you as you're trying to ride
through. |
| 105 |
Hitting that patch of sand which has washed across the road on a
blind bend. |
| 106 |
Absentmindedly putting the bike on the kick stand and walking away
before you check to see if the driveway is level. |
| 107 |
Applying your usual amount of throttle but with a passenger behind
you ... "cool ... look at that plane". |
| 108 |
Pushing your bike into a crowded garage, letting it get leaned
just a little away from you, pulling you on top of it into your vintage MG. |
| 109 |
Popping a wheelie while showing off for a girl, almost looping it,
slamming on the rear brake to compensate, and passing out from the bollocking several
yards later. |
| 110 |
Assuming the puddle of liquid behind the convenience store was
water when it was actually used motor oil. |
| 111 |
Starting bike while habitually squeezing clutch lever, standing to
the left of the bike, remembering too late that the bike is in gear. Realize too late that
the choke gives the bike enough power to drag you 30' across the parking lot in first
gear. |
| 112 |
On your third ride with your first ever bike. Stop at a red light.
When the light turns green, you have to start uphill, and turn right at the same time.
Somehow that overwhelmed me. |
| 113 |
Parking on a bit of an incline (slopes down right to left), having
your left foot slip a little when getting back on the bike, and slowly loosing your
balance. |
| 114 |
Let your buddy ride it. And if you are really stupid let him ride
it again. |
| 115 |
Turning onto a busy street and in the middle of the turn you
suddenly remember that this street has trolley tracks. |
| 116 |
Put armor all on your tires to make them look nice and pretty and
then ride on the white safety lane line as you take a HARD right turn at 35mph. |
| 117 |
Throw a party and get together with a random girl on your bike in
the garage while extremely drunk. |
| 118 |
Pull into parking and failed to ensure proper extension of the
sidestand then with near perfect execution of the Laugh-in scene where the bike topples
over onto your leg, and you're going down, pinned beneath. |
| 119 |
Stop for gas, carefully shut off ignition and take key out (to
unlock tank), carefully remove helmet and set it over mirror, carefully remove gloves and
place on instruments, open jacket, step off bike ... forgetting to put sidestand down. |
| 120 |
With bike off, try to make walking U-turn in driveway. Bike
doesn't have necessary turning radius, front wheel leaves pavement and goes into soft
dirt. |
| 121 |
The setting: Bikes at inside end of driveway, on centerstands,
facing away from front of driveway. Backing cage into driveway ... slowly ... at about the
right point, stop ... note that cover on bike #1 is moving slightly ... notice bike #1
ever-so-slowly roll forward off its centerstand, then sideways into bike #2. Bike #2
stands there and takes it without falling ... but there's no way to get it to lift #1. |
| 122 |
Tweaking the front brake at a light as you JUST come to a stop
with the forks turned to either side at ALL on a top-heavy bike. |
| 123 |
Jump an old dirt bike over your parents' fence (use a rramp to get
enough height). Realize on the way down that you *don't* know how to land. (I believe this
was caused by "Adolescent Invincibility Syndrome".) |
| 124 |
Test-ride an Electra Glide Sport (OK, these days it would have to
be a Road King) around the old, cracked pavement in Brisbane near the Cow Palace. |
| 125 |
Have a BMW with the sidestand linked to the clutch lever, so that
pulling in the clutch retracts the stand. |
| 126 |
Put the bike back together after waiting months since the last
crash for a part to arrive, and don't install fuel filters. Gas tank rust clogs carburetor
float needles, overflow tubes lube rear tire, brake to avoid manhole cover in curve, the
waited-for part is broken. |
| 127 |
Park next to some %$#@ on a Triumph who leaves his disclock on,
and return to find your XV1100 with a few dents and a little note saying 'Sorry' in the
brake lever. (I left my phone number too...) |
| 128 |
While riding home the day after getting your shiny new bike turn
onto a dirt road and discover that they are in the process of combing the road and your
front tire is now sliding through four inches of loose wet sand (Did I mention it was
raining). While picking up your bike be sure to grind plenty of sand into the tank. |
