Found on Usenet, Author Unknowm

You are invited to join the monthly RUNNING OF THE SQUIDS

This isn't just a ride, it is a full rout, in the style of the Running of the Bulls or the Running of the Grunion. You won't want to miss the thrills and chills of this exciting event. Read on for a description of the emotional ups and downs you will experience during this unique happening.

You will have the pleasure of riding with a variety of individuals most of whom have no initiation in the rules of the road, gentlemanly conduct, or plain common sense. "The Pace? What Pace!"

Your fellow riders will be guys who truly think that safety-mindedness is for cowards and weaklings. Watch them throw caution to the wind in an unrestrained display of machismo and bravado.

Pangs of distress will run through you as some of these folks demonstrate their lack of skill up close while operatating motorcycles with power and braking capabilities beyond their ability to safely control.

Witness their pride of ownership as they attempt to insert themselves in front of you at any time, especially when you are slowing down for safety's sake or to observe the speed limit in a heavily patrolled area.

You will shake your head in disbelief as riders speed in access of 100 mph past driveways, lookout points and rest stops as you wonder what type of vehicle encounter will present itself for your entertainment.

You will marvel as you watch ride participants perform skillful and daring acrobatic manuevers, including flying through the air and somersaulting into the ditch.

You will develop close bonds with your fellow riders as you get to know each other by the side of the road while waiting for emergency personel to arrive at the scene of an unscheduled off-pavement excursion.

You will wave emotional good-byes, as participants are lifted up into the sky by life flight helicopters, not knowing if you will ever ride with them again.

You will enjoy watching newbies take the wrong roads and wander off to who knows where, on their own mystery rides, as the ride gets strung out in the back country.

You will ponder where everyone went when you look around about halfway through the ride and half the participants who started with you are no longer there.

You will endure waiting an unusually long time for some folks to reach stopping points only to have them continue on past while you wonder why you bothered to look out for them in the first place.

You will thrill as your ride leader makes passes, in go slow zones, on these etiquette ignoring poseurs, while nearly clobbering errant motorists they have sent him in the path of.

You will experience the heights of anxiety as riders on fast bikes demonstrate every kind of blocking maneuver while you attempt to pass them and enjoy traversing your favorite roads.

Finally you will feel the urge to reach out and clutch someone when your ride leader tells you not to worry about all of this rude behavior and you listen to the ridicule of the clueless who don't like your advice.

Don't miss it, there is nothing else like it. Brought to you by your local bike shop.


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